Its about time!

Last weekend an American friend (lets call her L) and her husband visited us for dinner. They were supposed to be at our place at 6.30 p.m. Around 6.20 the phone rang. L was on the line.
L: Hi Naina, guess what, we are running late!
Me: (Happy that it would give me a few extra minutes to get things in order) That’s not a problem at all. Take your time. (Really, I mean it) BTW where are you guys?
L: We just took the exit off the highway.
Me: (realizing that I needed to hurry up cos they weren’t that far) Oh then you should be here in 15 minutes. That’s hardly late. See ya soon.

And soon it was! For they showed up at 6.30 sharp.
My brother who’s not yet completely acclimated to the ways of Americans had never seen people being so punctual in a private setting. He was amused by the fact that they called to apologize because they thought they would be 5 minutes late. I assure you this never happens with Indians (also known as desis).

If you are a desi attending a desi gathering you don’t apologize for being late, you apologize if you show up on time. This is how it works… if you are the host and you want people (especially desis) to show up at 7.00 p.m., you tell them that the party starts at 6.00 p.m. You can rest assured that no one (and I mean NO ONE) will show up before 7.00. If you are the guest and have received an invitation for 6.00 p.m., NEVER, I repeat NEVER show up at 6.00pm. The host is not expecting anyone before 7.00 p.m. If you reach ‘early’ the host will still be in the middle of preparations and will not know what to do with you.

My husband learnt this the hard way. He would always insist on reaching an event dot on the given time. A lot of times we would show up at someone’s place on time and they would still be putting the final touches to the food/décor and not yet be dressed for the party. One could see them struggle to hide the ‘what the heck are they doing so early?’ look on their face. They’d tell us to make ourselves comfortable while they showered or did whatever else. So we’d end up looking at our watches, watching every minute pass by and praying for someone else to show up. Please God someone…..even that loud-mouthed gossip monger will do!
This one time, we reached someone’s place on the given time. No one else had showed up and the hostess has just started preparing appetizers. For want of better things to do, I offered to help (what was I thinking?). The next thing I know, she dumped the entire task on me while she went upstairs and showered and got ready. By the time people arrived, she looked all clean and fresh while I was greasy from the sweat and the cooking oil. That did it! From that time onwards, I refused to go to any desi events on time.

Now we always reach fashionably late.
Just a couple of weekends ago, we were on our way to a party, late as usual, when we got a frantic call from a friend who had already reached the destination.
Friend: Where are you guys?
Us: We are on our way.
Friend: How far are you? Can you hurry up? I’m already here and there’s no one else here! I don’t know what to do here.

Hmm…looks like some people still haven’t learnt the workings of Indian Stretchable time. It’s about time they did.