Lady Like Behaviour

A coworker of mine found this book on ‘Etiquette’ that belonged to her great great grandmother. She brought it in because she thought some of us would find it interesting. The book is from the 1800s (exact publishing date not known). Its called ‘True Politeness’ – Handbook of Etiquette for Ladies. Its signed ‘By and American Lady’. Apparently it was impolite for a lady to reveal her name as an author.
Ladies, here are some gems of wisdom (from the book) that I thought you might get a kick out of:


 A lady ought not to present herself alone in a library or museum, unless she goes there to study or work as an artist.

 The superior in rank and station should first salute the inferior. Therefore if you meet a gentleman in the street with whom you are acquainted, recollect that it is your province to recognize him before he presumes to salute you.

 Double entendre is detestable in a woman, especially when perpetrated in the presence of men; no man of taste can respect a woman who is guilty of it: though it may create a laugh, it will inevitably excite also disgust in the minds of all whose good opinions are worth acquiring. Therefore not only avoid all indelicate expressions, but appear not to understand any that may be uttered in your presence.

 Never go early to a public ball; and do not be frequently seen at such. When you do attend, do not dance from the time you enter the room until you leave; it may leave the impression that you have few opportunities of dancing except at such balls.

 Ladies should not leave the table before the end of the entertainment, unless from urgent necessity. If it is a married lady, she requests someone to accompany her; if unmarried, she goes with her mother.


Some of the etiquette tips are relevant even today and I wish people (both ladies and gentlemen) would follow:

 Endeavor always to present an article which the recipient has not. This in many cases may be difficult; but where it is possible it should always be done.

 Never give away a present which you received from another; or at least so arrange it that it may never be known.
(Everyone passing on season inappropriate clothes and /or age inappropriate toys to Apple, take notice!)

 As persons are necessarily introduced at a dinner party, only such persons as are known to each other, or who mutually desire to be acquainted should be invited except under certain circumstances.
(If only I had a dollar for every party that I attended where there’s always a bunch of people I don’t know , the host does not care to introduce them and they proceed to converse in a language that I don’t understand, I’d have enough money to stop recycling presents)


And last but not the least…the universal and most relevant one for all times…
The most obvious mark of good breeding and good taste is a sensitive regard for the feelings of others.

Now with a sensitive regard to the feelings of irritation that you may acquire on reading some of these, I will not subject you to any more gems of wisdom. How about coming up with Etiquette for gentlemen (if such a thing exists)?