The goodness in people...

Yesterday on my drive home, I heard Craig Newmark’s essay for the ‘This I believe’ segment on NPR. This essay struck a special chord in me mainly because I hold similar beliefs.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend who said that she thought that people were mainly selfish and malicious. When she meets a new person she starts with that very assumption unless the person proves her wrong. That is her way of protecting herself from getting hurt. I on the other hand, like to start out believing that the person is basically good unless that person proves otherwise. That is not to say that I have never had any bad experiences, but I’d like to believe that those are a few isolated cases that fall under the ‘proven otherwise’ category.
I come from a family of people that strongly believe in the goodness in people. We believe in this almost to the point of being gullible at times. And we believe in this in spite of the fact that quite a few people have taken advantage of my Dad’s good and trusting nature. In fact my mom always jokes that if we totaled the value of the money/belongings that my dad unwittingly gave away, we could buy a flat with that money. My generation is more guarded than that. Me, my brother and my sister don’t let people take advantage of us but we do give people the benefit of doubt. A lot of times when one gets upset about something someone did or said, one may be inclined to label that person as bad/manipulative/ selfish etc. But if we look a little deeper we will see that lot of times there is an explanation to the person’s behavior. A misunderstanding or some unique personal situation may have lead that person to behave in a particular way.

I’d like to pass on my belief to my daughter but the few bad apples make it very difficult. When you hear stories of pedophiles walking the neighborhood streets it is only wise to teach your kids to be skeptical. How do I teach her to be cautious and yet believe in the goodness in this world? And then there are those extreme incidents like yesterday’s shooting at Virginia Tech….things that cannot be explained by any logic or reason. How can our kids trust anyone when they don’t even know if the person sitting next to them in class is a killer?
Craig’s essay could not have come at a better time. In times like this everyone needs an assurance that the world is ok and that most people are ok.